The Captive Author

442,151 notes

savingpeoplehunting-things:

totoroteser:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

It’s all for writing purposes. We swear

You guys know pigs will just eat everything right?

savingpeoplehunting-things:

totoroteser:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

It’s all for writing purposes. We swear

You guys know pigs will just eat everything right?

(Source: actualadvicemallard, via ironicallysayingswaggie)

Filed under the long and winding queue

23,931 notes

inthebackoftheimpala:

 (via robotmango)

(Source: mishasminions, via heavensknightofhell)

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2,672 notes

spiderboyfriends:

THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL
ANDREW GARFIELD SAID IN AN INTERVIEW FOR ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY “WHY WOULD IT BE SO BAD FOR A SUPERHERO TO EXPLORE HIS SEXUALITY” FURTHERMORE, THE CAPTION READS : “ANDREW GARFIELD SUGGESTS SPIDEY DATE A DUDE.”
I FUCKING LOVE THIS KID AND HE’S GREAT AND I LOVE HIS IDEAS BUT
WHERE’S OUR DEADPOOL. WE NEED HIM NOW.

spiderboyfriends:

THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL

ANDREW GARFIELD SAID IN AN INTERVIEW FOR ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY “WHY WOULD IT BE SO BAD FOR A SUPERHERO TO EXPLORE HIS SEXUALITY” FURTHERMORE, THE CAPTION READS : “ANDREW GARFIELD SUGGESTS SPIDEY DATE A DUDE.”

I FUCKING LOVE THIS KID AND HE’S GREAT AND I LOVE HIS IDEAS BUT

WHERE’S OUR DEADPOOL. WE NEED HIM NOW.

(via ironicallysayingswaggie)

Filed under the long and winding queue

8,959 notes

d-o-r-ia-n:

I feel like we need to talk about the fact that one of Tony Stark’s descendants is a hot black girl.

WHO IS NAMED RHODEY. AFTER TONY’S BESTIE (Also known as War Machine) JAMES RHODES.

LOOK AT HER   also her eyebrow game is strong 

image

LOOK AT HER SUIT

image

THE FLAWLESSNESS I CANNOT

I JSUT-

ShE’s PERfect

(via 0mizuki0smith0)

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4,346 notes

pocketpadfoot:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Remus Lupin lost all of his best friends in one night and spent 12 years thinking one of them was the murderer of the others and then it came out that he wasn’t but then that friend died anyway and just when he thought he could maybe build a life with someone he loved after all he was killed
Fuck everything

(via carvingstuff)

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